By Brian Gertler
ST. LOUIS, Missouri (May 2, 2024) – What a truly inspiring start to the first half of this 2024 season! Going into a year where the team was uncertain at the QB position with AJ McCarron edging us with his announcement, to Jahcour Pearson starting off on the IL, and even half of our O-Line getting injured over the course of three weeks, the Battlehawks have certainly overcome adversity and players have stepped to the challenge. It’s gotten to the point where the term “KaKaw” in St. Louis is synonymous with “Let’s go Blues!” or the sound of an ice cream truck making its way through your neighborhood as a child. Let’s reflect on this season together as we look forward to another strong half of spring football:
Losing a HeartBreaker in Michigan to Open the Year:
A loss in the season opener against a seemingly beatable team is hard enough, but losing on a record-breaking kick in the final seconds of the game? Unfair. My friend Nate and I attended this game. We drove from St. Louis to Chicago and spent the night at my mom’s. Thanks again, Paula! Saturday morning we woke up early, drove to Detroit, stopped at a Tim Hortons for some donut holes (aka Timbits), and made our way to Ford Field only to be treated to one of the most gut-wrenching losses we could have fathomed. The only thing that made up for this was the fact that we got to sit right next to AJ McCarron’s mom DeeDee, who seemingly had the same energy cheering for her son as if he were still playing high school football back in Mobile.
It was tough watching the kick go through the uprights for a second time due to a timeout that failed to ice the kicker, but props to Jake Bates for nailing the 64-yarder TWICE! That kick is tied for the second-longest in yards per NFL records.
Pita Party:
Having missed week four due to a right ankle injury, it was nice to see Pita Taumoepenu come out and dominate the flailing Defenders. His presence in the lineup is a clear game-changer, and his talent needs to be studied. It’s so much fun to have a player on your team that disrupts the opposing quarterback so much so that you’re willing to learn how to pronounce his name properly (tao-mo-eh-pen-new). After a fun googling adventure, I found out that Pita played one year of high school football after moving from Tonga to the U.S. at age 17 and recorded the third most sacks in a single season in Utah high school football history. Imagine if this dude played a couple more years! He probably wouldn’t have played college ball at Utah (apologies to any Utes reading).
Leading the Battlehawks with four sacks and countless QB pressures, Pita will hopefully keep up this Big DE Energy going into the second half of the season.
Breaking the DC Losing Streak:
The Throwin’ Samoan, Jordan Ta’amu, looked absolutely atrocious last week, and it was awesome to watch. Look, I have nothing but love for Jordan after he was the Battlehawk’s inaugural QB back in 2020, but the dude just dominated us last year. Ta’amu threw three picks and was 12/23 for 101 yards. As Michael Scott once said, “Oh, how the turntables…”
Our offense was also awesome, specifically Hakeem Butler with his ungodly 147 yards and two TDs, but the real highlight was watching our special teams making pee-wee football plays left and right. Inject these special teams clips into my veins:
Moving Forward:
Last week I was at a bachelor party near Seattle, WA. We traveled to some obscure mountain town called Roslyn where I found remnants of what appeared to be a Seattle Sea Dragons sticker in a bar bathroom. I was reminded of the teams that we have lost along the way in this league’s formation. RIP to the real ones – Seattle, Orlando, and all of our former USFL comrades. Vegas? I hope they are rotting in hell (respectfully).
This season has been one of mourning ends, celebrating new beginnings, and learning to find the balance between just drunk enough to enjoy a tailgate without ruining the actual game in the Battledome. I’m happy to say that I’ve done all three of these things. St. Louis football stock is at an all-time high, and I’m hoping we keep this train rolling throughout May and June.